Penelope Featherington

Can We speak, Pen?

From:

[Should she be nervous?]

Okay. I mean, of course. Are you quite well?

[She’s nervous.]

From:

[He cannot blame her for being nervous, he is stricken.]

I am not certain. I- I wanted to ask you something.

What you might feel...for me?

From:

What I might feel?

[She repeats his words. Suddenly her heart is in her mouth.]

How - how do you suppose I might - uh - feel?

From:

[Good God, she's turned it around on him.

He's trembling, thinking of his father and summoning that courage.]

That perhaps, you- we- might feel more than friends...

From:

[Her mouth quirks ever so slightly up when he says that she - they - might think of themselves as more than friends. There’s a twinkle in her eyes - hope perhaps - that he mayn’t have seen before. But she’s careful, fighting that excitement, that hope, just in case. After all, he’s laughed at her before.]

And do you… feel? That way, I mean? That we are more than friends?

From:

[The weight of his thoughts, the expanse of his heart, and the secret that weighed over him. It had coiled around long enough, he wanted her to know everything.]

When I was helping you to find a husband, one night you asked that I kiss you. You feared being a spinster and having never kissed someone.

We- and since that night, [Do it. Say it.] I have been consumed with thoughts of you. They follow me through the day until night, when I can sleep and find you there.

I love you, Pen. Deeply.

From:

[Blank astonishment is Pen’s first response. That he knows her fear of being a spinster, of dying without being kissed, is a whole revelation that ought to be examined. She must have been truly upset to confide such a secret in him. And that he had kissed her, before, back home. Or after? Does that make Colin her first kiss, or Faith?

But none of that is what she should be thinking about. Not in the immediate, and she pushes those thoughts away.

Her next is of sheer amazement and she has to sit down. The camera swings, giving a rather unattractive under-chin shot for a moment. But then she’s smiling as well.]

Truly, Colin? It would be most cruel if this was in jest, after I am to admit that I have loved you since the day we met. Only, I didn’t have much hope of it being returned. But truly, I love you Colin.

From:

[It is terrifying in that moment, hanging in the silence as she heard then answers. It feels as though he dangles over a chasm. It is only when she speaks that he is flooded with relief. That fear seems ridiculous, he feels giddy as a laughs, dropping his at the amazement that feared the answer, almost deciding to not tell her at all.

His expression is pure joy, knocked back, and realizing how blind he's been.]

Truly, Pen. Never doubt it.

I will never forgive myself from never seeing that love, wasting so many years when we could be happy.

I don't want to live this life without you in it.

From:

[Is she delirious? Has Colin really just said that he is in love with her? For a full moment, she just stares into the camera. Her heart is pounding. Can he hear it? She can hear it, throbbing in her ears. Her chest rises and falls as she takes short, steady breaths to try to control herself. Inside, she is fizzing, jumping up and down with absolute giddiness. How is it that the laughing stock of her family has made the best match, that a man like Colin Bridgerton wants to know her?]

Then what are you waiting for? [Her grin is wide but her eyes are full of longing.] Come to me, Colin.

From:

[He clicks off the camera, rushing from the quiet place he had retreated to, so that he might have a solitude from the Neptune Club to speak to her...and drink, if necessary.

Instead there is a lightness in his step, practically sprinting towards their assigned housing, now determined to give Pen whatever she desires. The best house, the best clothes, he wants nothing more but to shower her with all the love that has built up inside him.

When he shuts the door behind him, he's grinning at Pen, taking a moment to regard her beauty, hersweetness. How is he so blessed?

A quick swoop and he has captured her lips, holding fiercely to her, pulling back only enough to ask:]

Will you be mine, Pen?

From:

My heart has always belonged to you, Colin.

[It's all such a whirlwind and more than Penelope has ever dared to hope or even dream about. That kiss is delicious, and she kisses him back fiercely now, suddenly thirsty for him.]

From:

meetatdawn

[ Given that both Colin and Eloise ended up arrested, Anthony decides to reach out to Penelope. If nothing else, she may need a Dominant to help her get around given the uptick in guard activity. ]

Miss Featherington, it is Anthony Bridgerton. I wanted to check in with you after today's...events. [ well that's one way to put it ] Are you well? If you should need an escort or any assistance, please let me know.

From:

[Anthony is not far off the mark. Pen is at home, alone, and scared to death. She's been writing furiously, intent on publishing a Whistledown as quickly as possible to alert the city to the scandal.
But Anthony's message makes her stop.

She puts her pen down and breathes deep, trying to compose herself before she answers. Perhaps he'll see her fingers, blotched with ink (for she must always draft on paper before she types), or perhaps he won't notice. It doesn't even occur to Pen to think about the implications.]

Lord Bridgerton. How kind of you to concern yourself for me. But think only of your siblings. Where do you suppose they have been taken to? What will happen to Col - excuse me, Mr Bridgerton?

From:

meetatdawn

[ Luckily for Pen it's just voice so unless they meet up he will indeed miss the ink. ]

Jail, I think, for at least the night. They may also receive citations, but I am hopeful they will be released tomorrow. There is little I can do for them, now. I know that Colin would want me to make sure you are taken care of.

If you'd like to come downstairs [ he's assuming she's at Colin's place ] and spend some time with Simon, Daphne, and I, you are welcome to.

From:

Can we - you - not demand their release? They are being kept most unjustly. Colin said he was merely protecting a woman, and El - well, it is surely because she arranged the event.

[Pen takes a moment to breathe, to make sure her voice is still high pitched and childish, not the deeper, more adult, more threatening voice she has deep inside. She has to keep her identity secret now or her plan will fail.]

There is work I must complete, my Lord, but when I am through, I would be delighted to spend time in your company if you will have me. I am afraid for what Colin and Eloise might face.

From:

meetatdawn

If I believed demanding their release would free them, I would. But I have no true power here.

[ It's obviously bothering him, a strain to his tone he is only barely containing. ]

Take care with your work, Miss Featherington. Neither of them would wish to see you get in trouble, either. [ I mean, he knows. But he's not going to just come outright and say it. ] We are in 011-A when you are finished.

From:

Thank you, my Lord.

[Anthony's warnings are heeded, but Penelope is quite determined, and quite sure as well that she cannot be caught if she hides behind her Whistledown persona.]

If you really do not mind, please expect me within the hour. I cannot bear to be here without Colin or El.

From:

meetatdawn

I would not offer if I did not mean it.

[ Besides, back in Mayfair, Penelope is like always at their house. It's not even that strange an occurrence. ]

We will see you within the hour, then.

From:

duplicitymods

❝

DUPLICITY CITATION No. 19713
Violation: Seditious speech
Fine: 1 month Realignment + $500 fine
Payments must be received within 30 calendar days, or debts will be handed over to the Remittance Facility.

❞

From:

I suppose out of the punishments you could receive, this is lenient.

From:

The worst punishment I could ever receive is your anger. Colin, I beg your forgiveness.

From:

Forgiveness will take time. It is not simply that you were Whistledown, it is that you kept this damaging secret from me.

Now this fine for your last edition. Pen, you cannot do anything like that again. Sedition and rebellious words will never only affect you. It will affect me to.

If you are planning to do more, I don't know what that will do to our relationship.

From:

I understand but

Are you asking me to give up Whistledown?

From:

You love gossip. So long as it no longer humiliates anyone, Whistledown will not trouble me.

However, if you mean to continue in the theme of your last edition and stir up rebellion, knowing I may be punished instead or willingly putting me in danger without my say so, it will feel as though you do not truly care for me. Or have any concern for yourself.

From:

Gossip? You think any of Whistledown was about gossip? Gossip is what I wrote, what I published, but it wasn't what was important. I influenced situations. I changed lives, Colin. Whistledown is about giving a voice to the voiceless. She is about helping those who so desperately need her influence. Like I did. Like I still do. Do you really think this society is a good place to be? Would you truly have the woman you have declared love for as your subservient with no say and no power to do anything without your express permission?

From:

You did change lives, Pen. You near ruined Lady Crane's. You near ruined my family and destroyed Eloise's reputation. You malaigned me to the ton. You played God with our happiness. I did not ask for her influence and I suspect there are many who did not wish you smearing their secrets for the amusement of others. If you meant to help in Mayfair, it has been woefully misplaced.

No, I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't want her to put herself or anyone else I care for at risk. How is it I must sacrifice my ideals, but you are willing to sacrifice my safety and livelihood? Is that love?

From:

I did that for you. Marina was pregnant. She didn't love you. She was tricking you into a marriage that protected her child and would have ruined you. And Eloise... I have apologised to Eloise. I sought to protect her - I love her, Colin - and you are correct. My effort was misguided at best. But never malicious. Not towards your family. So you would have me sacrifice my ideals? Ideas and words and - and power? However meagre, however dangerous - Colin, I cannot sit around and wait for a dominant's permission to buy a new quill or a box of chocolates. I refuse to wait around to be punished for not being submissive. Please, do not ask me to retreat into my shell when it has taken me so long to break free.

From:

Then-

I do not think there is much left to say.

From:

[Her heart is breaking.]

Then

From:

[It comes a long time later, typed with shaking fingers and read with bloodshot, weary eyes.]

Goodbye, my love.

From:

[Ends.]

From:

[ They're roommates but Wade's not often home. When he is, he mostly holes himself up in his room and generally only emerges when he's fully kitted out in his red and black costume. Because Miss Featherington seems like a really nice, delicate lady and he doesn't want to scare her. But its when he starts to hear her sobbing that he realizes that pretending he doesn't give a shit about his roommate isn't going to work. Not when someone cries like their heart is being pulled out of their chest.

He knows that kind of crying real well. ]

Hey, hey, hey, what's all this for? These are the kind of tears reserved only for that stall in the work bathroom, or the one at the Prom...

[ Anyone whose had a workplace meltdown knows what he's talking about, right? Anyway, he's swiped a roll of toilet paper and now places it down in front of her. He can't buy tissues, he doesn't have a contract. ]

What's wrong, pumpkin spice?

From:

[Penelope hasn't been home much either. She usually stays in the Down with Colin, her dominant, or with Eloise, his sister.
After the forced confession on the network and the subsequent fallout with Colin and the rest of the Bridgertons, Penelope has retreated to the solitude of the Down, hoping to be alone and invisible for a while.

But she can't be and she isn't. When Wade speaks to her, she sits up on her hard little bed and wipes the snot from her nose in a very unladylike gesture.]

Excuse me, Sir. [She sniffles, fat tears still dripping down her cheeks.]
I mean, thank you. [She's got very little impression of Wade, beyond the strange mask he wears. Right now though, he seems the perfect gentleman.]

I - I'm sure it's nothing.

From:

[ See that, guys? Perfect fucking gentleman. Suck a cock, Logan. ]

No no no - none of that! Just call me Wade, alright? You're, you're Penelope, right?

[ Wade's heard some things about her very public dressing down. He decides to squat down so he can look into her tear-streaked face. ]

Listen, I'm not gonna try to say this is a safe space because — [ He gestures around the place. ] Need I? Is this about what those shit-swizzling pricks did to you in the Up?

From:

Yes, Penelope. Pen, if you like.

[It seems intimate to call Wade 'Wade', but then, Pen supposes, they are sharing a room, so perhaps it is highly appropriate here.
Through her tears, Pen giggles at the terrible language Wade uses. She nods at first, before shaking her head.]

Yes. Well, sort of. My... my dominant is very cross with me. I don't think he shall ever forgive me for what I have done, what I have kept hidden from him for so long.

From:

[ Wade, for once, listens patiently. It's not like he hasn't the capacity to be quiet, he just often chooses the path of extreme irritation. Pen looks like she's having a hard enough day. But woof, as if the power dynamics couldn't get any worse around here, the fact that her dominant is kicking someone while they're down? That's ugly.

He doesn't give a shit what she did, that's just mean! And her tears are kinda getting to him! ]

This dominant, who is he? A boyfriend?

[ Wade asks, his tone harmless in ways he's not. ]

From:

A boyfriend?

[The term is completely unfamiliar to Pen.]

He is... I have known him forever. He is the brother of my best friend, and truly the most eligible of bachelors in London. And he chose me from all of the strutting peacocks that he might have had. He has chosen me and we have declared our love and - and - and he has discovered my lies, my writing, my manipulations.

[She bursts into a fresh set of tears, and she dabs them with the toilet roll, trying to control herself.]

I am so sorry for such histrionics, Sir. Wade. Shit - I mean - I beg your pardon, Wade. Sir. Oh.

[Giving up completely, Pen presses the toilet roll to her eyes and waits for a hole in the ground to swallow her up.]

From:

[ Ugh, Wade thinks the absolute worst of this guy. It's totally unfounded, but he's not exactly a shining example of humanity. ]

Wade is fine - you're doing great, sweetie.

[ Wade's mask does a little tick back and forth as he realizes she's about to just -- yeah, okay. Just put the whole thing right on there. Soak up all them tears with your little toilet paper sponge. ]

I could pay him a little visit, introduce him to my pals, Bea and Arthur. Maybe give him a complimentary pavement facial. Would that make you feel better?

[ His tone is very gentle. Sometimes it gets that way when he's thinking about visiting a shitload of violence on someone. ]

All I need is a name.

From:

What?

[She looks up, confused.]

Who are Bea and Arthur? Do you mean to say you will knock him to the ground? I would very much rather you didn't do that if it's all the same to you.

From:

My katanas.

[ Thankfully, they're hanging from a hook on the other side of their apartment. Sure enough, on the pommel are inscribed the two names. Golden Girl reference. ]

You sure? I don't mind, I wouldn't even charge you for it. Just consider it my good deed for the day.

[ Wade reaches out to twitch one of her ginger locks of hair over her shoulder in a companionable way. ]

Okay, how about this? I don't know your history, but I know what a broken heart feels like. Sitting here with your feelings and nothing to distract you is only going to make you miserable. What you need... is a girl's night out.

[ That's right, his solution to all problems is to just stuff it down! You know, when violence isn't an option. ]

From:

[‘My katanas’ clears up precisely nothing for Pen, but she doesn’t want to look like even more of an idiot than she already does so she doesn’t question further.
She does, however, nod firmly.]

Colin’s done nothing wrong. I am afraid I will lose him, for what he is asking of me, I am not sure I can do.

[Pen sniffs and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.]

A girls’ night out? Where do girls go? Surely it is too late to promenade?

From:

'Kay.

[ Colin. Okay. But she sounds like she's still pretty attached, probably wouldn't score any points messing him up and likely only make it worse. Wade lets it go. ]

Oh, goodness, no. We're going to get our drink on. Try not to overdo it, I don't want to get kicked out for holding your hair back in the bathroom.

[ Wade stands up with a sigh and puts out a hand. ]

Get on my magic carpet, babygirl — I'm gonna show you a whole new world called nightlife. I know the perfect place.

From:

I'm ready to decide our contract, Pen.

[He doesn't intend to draw this out, just so she doesn't suffer from worry.]

We could renew our contract, if you wish to.

From:

[Does he know she's been asleep for a month? Does he care? Pen licks her lips nervously.]

Of course I do, Colin. With all of my heart. Only... nothing has changed since we last spoke. I am still her.

From: